The Psychology of Feel-good Feedback
Feedback can motivate and inspire us. It can make us happy, driven and proud. But it can also leave us sad, aggrieved, demotivated, even insulted sometimes.
The truth is emotion is a huge part of feedback. Our emotions are triggered by it through natural causes. Being aware of how feedback triggers us, and how it can impact others, is a key part of managing feedback brilliantly.
The brain science: it’s all in your head
Neural processes and structures can be hugely influenced by feedback.
Positive feedback activates the brain’s reward system. When we receive positive feedback, it reinforces the behaviour and makes us more likely to repeat it. Our survey revealed that two thirds (66%) of UK office workers like receiving feedback*, which could be because the positive kind makes them feel good.
Meanwhile, negative feedback can trigger the brain’s threat response. This can lead to feelings of anxiety or defensiveness. Our brains are wired to respond more strongly to negative stimuli as a survival mechanism. This can sometimes make it challenging to accept and act on negative feedback.
Our study found how 38% of UK office workers have considered leaving a job due to consistently poor or unfair feedback, demonstrating the strength of emotion negative feedback can trigger.
But there are ways we can manage our natural instincts.
The psychology: keep in your adult ego state
Transactional Analysis is a psychological theory developed by Eric Berne, which explores how people interact through three distinct ego states: parent, adult, and child. These ego states can influence how we give and receive feedback.
• Parent ego state: This state reflects behaviours, thoughts, and feelings absorbed from authority figures. Feedback given from this state can be critical or nurturing. Receiving feedback in this state might involve feeling judged or supported.
• Adult ego state: This is the rational and objective part of our personality. Feedback given from the adult state is typically constructive and based on facts. Receiving feedback in this state allows for logical processing and constructive response.
• Child ego state: This state is rooted in our early experiences and emotional responses. Feedback given from the child state can be emotional or rebellious. Receiving feedback in this state might trigger feelings of defensiveness or vulnerability.
Understanding these ego states can improve the effectiveness of feedback by ensuring that it is given and received in a way that promotes healthy communication and minimises misunderstandings.
Making a conscious effort to give and receive feedback from your adult state will often lead to the best outcomes.
That’s because giving feedback from the critical parent ego state can illicit a rebellious child response. So, keep things constructive and rational in the adult state. And if you’re receiving feedback from someone in the adult state, resist the instinct to go into your child state to keep things constructive.
Give, take and apply feedback brilliantly
Feedback is deeply emotional and impacts our brain’s reward and threat systems. Reflecting on the psychology of feedback and how it can trigger us can help to make sure we’re always giving and receiving feedback brilliantly.
Read the Fabulous Feedback Formula [link to blog one] for more essential insights.
* Survey of 2,003 UK office workers by Censuswide between 25th September – 27th September 2024.
